"It's Not About the Nail"

Reading Material

Pia Mellody is my mentor. She has created an amazingly intuitive way of relating to the inner child within all of us. Knowing the love and support we needed as a child, Pia’s methods can help each of us parent ourselves the way we needed when we were young. Drawing from the core needs of all children (self worth, boundaries, reality, wants and needs, and spontaneity), Pia helps us break free of the wounds of childhood (intentional traumas to what we call small "t" traumas-the normal pains of childhood) and create our own narratives in the world to be our best self. Pia brings ideas of Love Addiction and Love Avoidance to the public sector in a very approachable way.

Facing Codependence
The Intimacy Factor
Breaking Free

In my work with concepts developed by Pia Mellody, I have also been deeply influenced by the work of Richard Schwartz and his IFS theory. These books are easy ways to understand how the various parts of our life impact the stories we tell about ourselves.

You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
Self Holding Exercise
Freedom From Your Inner Critic
Intimacy From the Inside Out

Body based psychotherapies are very useful for people who sometimes find that words cannot sufficiently convey the pain or assist in dealing with the pain and trauma of previous life experiences.

The Chemistry of Calm
The Chemistry of Joy
The Body Keeps the Score
In an Unspoken Voice
Waking the Tiger

These are a few books that I find useful in knowing and working with people with LGBTQIA identities, those with relational struggles, those working toward body positivity, and those struggling with intimacy and sexual compulsivity.

My Grandmother's Hands
The Body is Not an Apology
Mirror of Intimacy
Minduflness and Acceptance for Gender and Sexual Minorities
S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties
>The Queer and Transgender Resiliance Workbook
Erotic Intelligence
Trans Bodies Trans Selves
Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation
Facing the Shadow


"No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future."
—Umar Ibn Al-khattaab